Definitely Not a Long Distance Relationship

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She isn't an army wife but has many army wife friends. I mentioned that Mike might be calling soon. She got excited for me and mentioned that one of her other army wife friends was sometimes unsure what to talk about when her husband would call during a deployment. She said her friend wondered if she should worry him with the daily happenings or keep the conversation light. I never really thought about it until that moment. I usually just ramble on about our day or ask him specific things to help me in making decisions. Sometimes we have a limited amount of time to talk and I don't always tell him everything that happens (mostly because I forget).

Going through a deployment with your soldier is nothing like a long distance relationship. The distance is there, certainly, but the relationship is so much different than your typical long distance relationship. I can't call him anytime I want to tell him something or see how his day is going. I wait by the phone until he is able to make it to a phone to call me. I can't get on a plane or hop in my car to go see him over the weekend. He can't leave either.

This got me thinking about our phone conversations. No matter how brief they may be, it's how we communicate. Do I worry him with details like, "The dryer busted again, the fridge stopped making ice and my car has a flat" all in one day? Usually I tell him these things after I take care of them. I don't want to worry him with unnecessary things. I talk to him about the kids a lot. "Should I send Belle to cheer camp this summer?" "Job wants to learn to play the violin." More importantly, "This will cost money, what are your thoughts?"

Sometimes it just depends on your soldier and what he wants to know. I don't want to cause him to worry. I think he does enough of that without me adding to his anxiety. As a military spouse, when your spouse is deployed, do you choose not to talk about certain issues with your spouse because you fear it would cause more stress? Do you tell him everything? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Anniversary Wish List

Even though my husband and I are approaching our 12th wedding anniversary (May 15th), sometimes we have a hard time getting each other gifts. I don't think I've always communicated well with him either. When we first got married I remember telling him not to waste our money on flowers because they die. A few years after that statement, I became silently upset for a week because he didn't get me roses for Valentine's Day. Apparently, he should have read my mind to know that it had changed. I'll be the first to admit that I expect him to JUST KNOW what I want. Well, it's just not fair for me to do that. Of course, it's taken 12 years together for me to finally realize he's not a mind reader. This year I decided to help him a little. Here's a list of things that I wouldn't mind getting as gifts:

1. Eden Day Spa - http://edendayspas.com/packages.asp
(The A Day at the Spa and Bare Necessities packages seem like fun)

2. Nintendo DSi XL - http://www.nintendodsi.com/meet-dsi-xl.jsp

3. Sterling Silver Charm Necklace - http://tiny.cc/uj7hu

4. 14k White Gold 1/2ct TDW Diamond Ring - http://tiny.cc/esdsb
OK, so I just really like this ring, doesn't mean I have to have jewelry. Just sayin'.

5. Digital Camcoder - http://tiny.cc/kmx9l
Doesn't have to be this brand or price. ;o)

6. 2010 Nissan Murano - http://www.4x4x4.com/Images/nissan/murano/NissanMurano2295.jpg
We can discuss details.

7. Go AWOL and we can live in a cardboard box because anywhere with you, no matter how awful, is where I want to be.

I certainly wouldn't mind if he got me something that wasn't on the list. I just thought it would spark some ideas, get his creative juices flowing. And if he's just too tired to think about it because he works 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week while he's deployed, he can pick from the list. The wish list takes the guess work out of it. In all honesty, all I truly want for our anniversary is to hear his voice.

Note: Going AWOL isn't an option. Just thought it would make him laugh. Inside joke.